Wherever you go... there you are.

I was reading Seneca today, as one does, and came across a passage that stood out to me. It goes like this:

"Though you cross the boundless ocean... wherever your destination you will be followed by your failings. Here is what Socrates said to someone who was making the same complaint: 'How can you wonder your travels do you no good, when you carry yourself around with you? You are saddled with the very thing that drove you away.' How can novelty of surroundings abroad and becoming acquainted with foreign scenes or cities be of any help? All that dashing about turns out to be quite futile. And if you want to know why all this running away cannot help you, the answer is simply this: you are running away in your own company. You have to lay aside the load on your spirit. Until you do that, nowhere will satisfy you... you rush hither and thither with the idea of dislodging a firmly seated weight when the very dashing about just adds to the trouble it causes you."

- Seneca Letter XXVIII in Letters from a Stoic

First off, Mike, why is this passage on a longevity medicine blog? Good question. I put it up because I believe the most fundamental underpinning of health is the quality of your relationship to yourself. I attempt to capture this aspect when I talk to patients and further elaborate on it when I explore their social life (which I define as relationship of self to other people) and spiritual life (which I define as relationship of self with the rest of the universe).

This passage from Seneca perfectly encapsulates the major point I am trying to get across when I explore these areas. Specifically, that your relationship to yourself is important and defines your moment to moment experience. It can make the felt human condition hellish or joyful. I go a step further to include that your relationship to yourself is malleable, that your relationship to yourself is something that requires intentional exploration, and that your relationship to yourself deserves priority of time and energy to actively improve.

After all, if you can't stand being around yourself moment to moment, why are you pursuing an increase in the number of those moments?

Are you waiting for something to passively change? An external savior to make everything better? It just doesn't happen that way.

Luckily, you have the ability to improve your relationship with yourself right now with all of your life circumstances exactly as they are. It doesn't require you to go to an ashram in India for 6 months, quit your job, join a cult, or adopt 10 feral kittens. It just requires you to take a moment to look at your relationship with yourself, challenge the current narrative, and choose it to be better.