Non-Traditional Parenting Strategies- Reward Effort Not Outcome

I had kiddos early compared to many of my peers, so it is not uncommon for me to be the purveyor of hard earned wisdom to buddies that have kids that are a couple years younger. I give a lot of traditional advice that you can find in any parenting book or through common culturally accepted practice. However, I thought it would be worth sharing some of my more less main stream go to parenting strategies.

So the next couple posts will list several parenting tips and strategies I have used successfully to improve my parenting.

Remember, before you read this, you like me and think I am a good father.

Reward Effort Not Outcome

We all want our kids to succeed academically and socially, but placing more emphasis on their effort rather than just the outcomes can be incredibly rewarding. This approach nurtures a positive mindset, resilience, and happiness in our children.

Focusing solely on outcomes like grades and trophies can unknowingly teach children to connect their self-worth with achievements. This can foster anxiety and a fear of failing.

In contrast, when we emphasize effort, we set our kiddos up for success by promoting a genuine love for learning. For instance, if a child struggles with math but works hard to improve, recognizing that effort can be far more motivating than just focusing on their test scores.

When children learn to enjoy the process of learning, they become more motivated and set personal goals, finding joy in the journey rather than being solely fixated on the end result.

Children are very aware of how their value is assessed, and if they feel their worth hinges on achievements, it can create a cycle of seeking validation through results. This perspective can harm their self-esteem over time.

When kids see their hard work acknowledged, it builds a robust sense of self-worth. For example, when a child is praised for completing a project after putting in significant effort, they feel valued regardless of whether their project received an award.

Life is full of ups and downs, and teaching children how to handle these challenges is vital in parenting. Rewarding effort instead of just outcomes instills resilience, the ability to recover from setbacks.

For instance, when a child is encouraged to keep trying after facing a tough challenge, they learn valuable life skills. Statistics show that resilient individuals are 50% more likely to achieve their long-term goals. By acknowledging hard work, parents empower their children to keep pushing forward, even when things do not go as planned.

This resilience enables children to tackle difficulties and maintain a positive outlook, preparing them for complex situations in school, friendships, and the workplace.

I found it hard at first, but with some practice I started replacing my generic “Good job!,” with, “I’m really impressed by how hard you worked on that problem.” This reinforces the importance of effort rather than just the outcome.